Tension

for Z

such as the boy of six flinging himself between his abusive father and his mum, daring him in a manner older than his six years, to get to him first before getting to her, struck by the boldness of his offspring, the father reconsiders his options, opting for “Option C”, that is dangling his little one by his legs out of the 8th storey window, just to “scare him a little”, but any moment now,

such as the old man perched by the foot of an overhead bridge, smelling like he hasn’t showered in days, looking like he hasn’t lived in years, scavenging the remains of a garbage bin for half-used cigarette butts, as we pass him in our “clubbing best”, my companion denounces her new stick of marlboros for being too stale, and just before she flicks it into the bin, i see his eyes light up and his shoulders tense, positioned for a pounce, and any moment now,

such as the christian fundamentalist looking up from his plate of couscous, surprised to find himself in a sea of stares, when all he had said was something about the restoration of Israel, the second coming, the “terrorist problem”, not noticing the Free Palestine posters in the restaurant, yet he doesn’t know any other life but this, no other doctrine but this, where any moment now,

what are we but the sum total of yesterday’s loss and leaving: she held her hand on the long drive to the airport, not quite sure how to remove it when they get there, knowing this to be the prelude to a long distance affair crackling over the telephone, and any moment, any minute now; she knows, just knows, from the intensity of a touch of her lover’s hands, that all which was beautiful had to end, where any moment now (she would return to him for the day, and forever more); hello and goodbye, she said, there is no such thing as love only fuck ‘em and leave ‘em, hello and goodbye again, where any moment now,

and who am i but today’s bittersweet loving: you were right, i was holding back those tears, what did i say it was again? damned if we do and damned if we don’t, damned that we have – that i have, i told you a month ago, riverside, i’m not the type that would give up without trying, and while i am aware i could very well fill up that eighth pail of yours, you could also very well fill up my tenth, but all’s fair and there are no winners or losers, just those who have dared to love and those who have not, somehow or other i’m glad that we have, at this moment and all others, and all else.. i don’t know but i think i’d like to find out, holding you. let me. any moment now, i..

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