Education, As I Know It
one last grumpy post about school, because it’s nearly over!
One of these people waiting in the rain for a taxi isn’t going to work. She is crisp shirt, sensible shoes but messy hair—the sort your boss wouldn’t approve of. Nothing she’s wearing fits; nothing she’s trying to be fits, either. Her hair is impossible. This is as far as formal business attire goes. No, none of that well made expensive suit look her perfectly coiffed schoolmates all seem to be genetically blessed with.
Not for her.
Hardcoded into her genes are a set of attributes these well-meaning individuals don’t understand are genetically unmodifiable. Stubborn, late, defiant of authority, allergic to hierarchy and bureaucracy—and worst of all, utterly incapable of functioning within systems. When you step out into the working world…. sentences so frequently begin with that. She holds her tongue, having decided to never bother with people whose ideas of a real job are in fact, a real nightmare. With their expensive sleek shirts on, A-line skirts and power Powerpoint presentations they look ready to take over the world.
And me? I just look ready to take them off. Now, if possible.
Sometimes I think of Colaba Causeway at midnight. My beloved Mumbai in the monsoon, and my haunts: Gokul, the hard drinking Indian men’s den where there’s plenty of Kingfisher. Leopold’s, immortalized in Shantaram (soon to be a Johnny Depp movie); bad pasta, beautiful people, character oozing out of every crevice. The beautiful rooftop restaurant at the top of the Gulf Hotel (supposedly owned by the underworld; if so, they have taste). Basilico, Moshe’s, Bagdadi, Bade Miya, the vada pav wallahs. The unusual group I hang with: Peter the photojournalist who gave me my lucky break, Cristiane the Brazilian Japanese graphic designer who needs to dance to any music even if it’s 3 Doors Down at Leopold’s at 3pm, Jurgen the German social worker with a double life as a Bollywood star (he plays all the gora roles), Cory the photographer who ran out of money while backpacking India and instead of heading home, stayed to make good money by recruiting foreigners into Bollywood movies. Kingfisher, Gold Flakes, cricket on the telly, not paying my fare in the suburban train to Andheri. Peter proposing we marry 10 years from now when we’re both famous, as in Sebastião Salgado type of famous (only so he can have my kids), over risotto at Basilico. The Marine Line. I was educated there, there where everything was possible if I chose it. Ardh Kumbh Mela in Allahabad, a short train ride away. HIV among the hijras. Groundbreaking, important climate change work with a certain major NGO; a world of tremendous opportunity (and money, actually). There’s no better feeling in the world; everything else comes up short.
Increasingly feeling this rift between my double lives, feeling neither here nor there all at once, wanting to be everywhere all at the same time. If my fellow graduates-to-be are wondering about jobs and salary, I am wondering what city I’m going to be in, in February, March, April, May, June… slowly becoming unanchored and losing sight of shore. “Are you ready to come home and do what you’re meant to do?” Peter keeps asking.
In four weeks, I will (begin preparing for that, I mean). And when he says ‘home’ we both know what that means: our lives in our rucksacks, our lives as our cameras, sometimes Mumbai, other times Kolkata, sometimes Bangkok, other times London or New York. Everywhere and nowhere at once.
Om shirt, tie dyed pants, sandals, still impossible hair. The nomad is desperate to wander in the wilderness, and yet when it comes to leaving everything behind… I’m afraid, it’s true.
- Posted by popagandhi at 11:31 am
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when u become famous, you’re school’s so gonna claim credit. hurhurhur.
did i just make a typo?? dang.
The feeling of being torn between home and being somewhere else…of doing something that is not the norm..is something that not many can understand. Many people think that doing what everyone else is doing must be the right way. But alas, only those who go against the norm are the ones who can look back without any regrets. At least you can say that you tried.
I don’t see anything wrong with preparing oneself professionally. It keeps the world running if you noticed. You make it seem like a chore, almost a curse. I say, different people different strokes.
Your photos and stories don’t go to print immediately ya know. They go to the sub-editor, the editor, the designer, the printing press, the distributor, and finally to the reader who has money in his pocket to spare – all of these people have prepared themselves professionally one way or another. They didn’t get where they are by wondering around in thongs and rusacks. (when Googleplex takes over the world, maybe)
Some people prefer to make their millions first before travelling in comfort – is there anything wrong in travelling in luxury? I don’t know how you feel about that, but a trawl on the lonely planet forums and many other travel forums reveal a pretentious pomposity that many (poor) young people carry with them. I hope you’re not one of them young proud brats. You don’t seem like it, which is why i like reading your blog, but this post reeked of smug conceit. I could be wrong.
Well, to each his own. Travel is meant to be fun, let everyone enjoy it however they like.
*wandering, not wondering.
@Ace: You misunderstand me. Professional preparation is great. That is why I am going to Journalism school at the best place for it. The first bit was about the inferior hybrid business/political science education I’m receiving at a local university, and how awful it’s worked out to be although I badly wanted to believe otherwise. It’s really not about anything else: it’s about the corporate culture my education is forcing me into (see the link at the start). The rest of it was about what I perceive to be my REAL education. Although it was too emo for sure—but sitting in a horrible business class this morning drove me to the depths of desperation. Having to make a horrible presentation in that horrible class wearing horrible clothes and shoes didn’t help. I cannot begin to describe how horrible it is. That’s all—I should have been more specific. That was a rant about Singapore Management University, which I attend.
And you got another bit wrong: it wasn’t about travel. It wasn’t about travelling at all. It wasn’t about other people. It was about career decisions, and how I hated my ‘education’. How I’m desperate to stop being the person my education is making me become (corporate slave in the training—just look at the website) and to pursue my dreams, but how that too is scary. (BTW we make pretty good money… not millions, but competitive enough.)
Ah alright. I misconstrued your intentions. I’m sorry you’re at SMU and not enjoying it, but hey the world’s at your feet :)
:) Cool. I should state here that I have nothing against corporate attire or the corporate life. I think it’s great if you choose it, and I’m happy some of my friends are doing very well in it. But if you look at what SMU is doing.. they’re shoving it down our throats with no room for any protest (which is opposite to the image we’re trying to portray: WE’RE SO DIFFERENT!).. In 4 weeks I will write about that, maybe even get it printed in a newspaper. It’s THAT bad and the lie has to be exposed now! I figured I’d try a different approach from my usual “I hate SMU” line. Guess that didn’t turn out too well :)
(we hate SMU too, with all ‘em handfed internships, job placements and all. buncha poseurs who think they’re different and shove it down OUR lesser throats – yes, please get your article published)
not the academic atmosphere of your choice? all means to a more flexible end (said the BAT corporate slut, who’s logging on to read your blog on a day that’s looking to go on forever)
hang on in there :)
amen to that.
it’s tough, this double life. and week 11 totally blows. =|
it sure does make people angsty. at least you’ve got a few more weeks to go!
thanks for keeping the rest of us, dareisayit, miscreants of smu, sane.
when i first read your post, my thoughts were like Ace’s: Very smug person, trying to gloat that she is different from the mainstream.
That’s what happens when people write in a fit of anger I guess. Haha!
Well, looking forward to your article! Be sure to add something about how they foul up their employment survey!