It’s a Love Hate Thing
July 21st, 2007 | Published in dispatch | 13 Comments
Puri, Orissa. I have a train to catch from Bhubaneswar, an hour from Puri. The East Coast Express leaves Bhubaneswar at 7.40pm, and at 7.25pm Bhubaneswar is nowhere in sight. This rickety bus set off from Puri at 5.30pm, was supposed to take an hour, but ambled along in the rain, stopping at each and every village. I grab my 10kg backpack, and try to make my way out of the bus.
“Where are you going?” asks the man blocking my way in the narrow bus.
Don’t ask me any questions. Just let me off the bus. The Indians love helping out, all at the same time, often not helping very much and occasionally stand in the way — like now, literally.
I am going to get off this bus to get into a rickshaw because it is 7.25pm and my train leaves at 7.40pm and this bus is much too slow.
“Oh, no, no… don’t worry. You will make it. It’ll take just another 20 minutes to reach Bhubaneswar, then you can catch an auto to the station. You will catch the train.”
I don’t know how they do what they do around here — be utterly incapable of calculating time. So this bus reaches Bhubaneswar at 7.45pm, and then I still have to catch an auto to the station, and still think of catching the train? I assert again that my train leaves at 7.40pm.
“Your train is leaving at 8.10pm, no?”
No. No, no, and no. 7.40pm — not 8.10pm.
“But your train leaves at 8.10pm.”
I assert again it leaves at 7.40pm.
Someone asks if it was stated on my ticket that the train leaves at 7.40pm, not 8.10pm. Well — yes. They ask this several times before they are satisfied my train indeed leaves within the next — by now, 10 minutes.
“Then you must immediately get off this bus and catch an auto to the station. Immediately, without fail. Immediately!”
Gee, thanks, that’s what I’ve been trying to do for the last 5 minutes. I jumped off the bus, hopped into an auto rickshaw, sped to the Bhubaneswar station to find the entire station engulfed in the darkness of Indian electricity failures. It was now 7.41pm. The East Coast Express was nowhere in sight on Platform 4. It finally pulled in at 8.05pm, and left the station for the 24 hours’ journey to Hyderabad.
The time was 8.10pm.
I usually have very good meals in trains, but this time aboard the East Coast Express, some slight communication problems with pantry staff about the availability of ‘non-veg dinner with curry and 3 chapati’ resulted in me miserably eating rice, dal, two miserable eggs and chapati. “Eggs are non-veg?” I ask. All eyes are on me, no doubt they find it funny. “Eggs are veg?” Well — no — but the point is, there is no meat, so that makes it not good enough non-veg. I did not grow up in a veg/non-veg dichotomy and honestly the only way I make a distinction is if there is meat or not.
“Is there any chicken on this train?” (I have never been in a train without chicken.) “Nahi, nahi… that’ll be 37 rupees for your NON-VEG meal.” What do you mean that was a non-veg meal? It was just two pathetic eggs! I think I have anger management issues when it comes to food, and nothing gets to me more than having to eat vegetarian against my wishes (sorry, eggs are not good enough, it’s still vegetarian to me), and charging me for what I didn’t ask for. Vegetarianism — the word scares me to death. I have such strong opinions about vegetarianism — good for you if you choose it, but don’t make me do it; much like my take on heterosexuality, I guess — that I have never called back anyone I went on a date with if she professed to be vegetarian on the first date. It scares me that much. Indian vegetarianism, especially, reminds me of potato, cauliflower, and eggplant, all items I dislike (yes I’m one of the rare specimens who honestly does not like potato in any form). Why should I limit myself to a small fraction of all the good and tasty things in the world?
I boycotted all other meals on the train, still fuming about my food, got out at Secunderabad 24 hours later, met three non-vegetarian friends from school, and had a large steak for dinner.
July 21st, 2007 at 2:56 pm (#)
Awesome! I was nodding along to the food part. Including the bit about potatoes.
July 21st, 2007 at 4:33 pm (#)
I love potatoes. Potatoes are not veg. :(
July 21st, 2007 at 5:45 pm (#)
I’m enjoying the context of reading this fine (and funny) post and piecing together the tweets on twitter. Not sure about your decision to bail out and hit Thailand so early.
Thailand is a breeze compared to India in everything from gender identity to food. Eight years of living there taught me this.
Keep up the good work.
July 21st, 2007 at 5:53 pm (#)
:) not bailing– my fifth time here in consecutive years. I think i may need a slight change of scene.
July 21st, 2007 at 5:58 pm (#)
How ironic your statement on vegetarianism was. People who choose to become vegetarian do so because they think it’s unfair for humans to strip away the rights of just about every other living thing on earth. Just like how gay activists fight for the oppressed minority. I don’t think you’re much better than the people who brush off gay rights as something being “good for you, just don’t influence me with your thoughts”. If you can’t see the point of one group of rights advocators, why should the brainwashed, bible toting majority see your point of view?
July 21st, 2007 at 7:02 pm (#)
err. Firstly, it’s not supposed to be taken seriously. I am all for vegetarianism and can understand the motivation behind it — and in fact am also the ‘go to’ person for visiting vegetarians to singapore when they want to know where to eat. I just ask that i not have to be forced into a diet i did not choose. It’s not quite the same thing as the example you raised, because i am not a gay activist, only a gay person- i do not ask that They see my point of view, only that they leave me alone. Eat whatever you like, and leave me alone-how is that possibly the same thing?
I did not tar vegetarians with the same brush, only stating that I do not practise vegetarianism and do not like being coerced into that diet (or any diet– it could be anything, a diet of peas, or a diet of mutton-only, whatever). So don’t put words into my mouth–or take this more seriously than you should.
July 21st, 2007 at 7:36 pm (#)
if we are not supposed to eat animals how come we are made of meat?
July 21st, 2007 at 7:36 pm (#)
Opps….i mean *THEY not we…darn
July 22nd, 2007 at 6:51 pm (#)
“if we are not supposed to eat animals how come we are made of meat?” —erm….think cows?
i was charged 38 rupees for two cutlets on the train! despite the miniscule amount of chicken in them, i still think i was overcharged. but i was just too weakened to argue…
July 23rd, 2007 at 2:32 am (#)
so sorry poppy.. u sure do need a change of scenery - how does london sound to you? throw in a dash of istanbul/ stockholm?
hope things r better now.. cheers!!
July 23rd, 2007 at 3:14 am (#)
Yes London, what say you?
Call me.
July 25th, 2007 at 12:04 am (#)
Seldom have i heard of vegetarians coercing people into it, perhaps it’s just that India is a place where the vegetarians eschew meat because they think it’s dirty, and not out of respect for animals. Most vegetarians will talk about their beliefs if you ask them, but most of the time it is veggies who get bashed for their ideas. Typical stupid remarks include:
The bible says that animals are put on earth for our use;
they taste delicious therefore it can’t be wrong to eat them;
How do you know vegetables can’t feel pain
The list goes on. I’m not attacking you for anything, and it should be noted that one doesn’t have to be an activist to have a cause. I support vegetarianism, but i don’t throw paint over people who wear furs.
I just noted that it is ironic to flip your eyes at a perfectly justifiable cause, and expect the pious and conventional masses to see your point of view for a cause that you believe in.
July 25th, 2007 at 12:32 am (#)
I hardly think it’s fair to compare food choice and gay rights. Incidentally, heard of the recent ‘vegetarians only residential buildings’ phenomenon in India? Check it out on CNN if you’re so inclined.
Also, not every vegetarian chooses not to eat meat simply because they’re against the slaughtering of animals, a good number do it for health reasons, some do it as an act of sacrificial offering to god, and a handful do it in the belief that they’ll be able to lose weight.
I’m not attacking you or anything, but it should be noted that she wasn’t drawing up a proposal to ban vegetarianism, but was simply stating a personal preference with an obvious injection of humor so unless you were one of those people she decided not to have a second date with (perhaps even a first), I suggest you lighten the hell up. =)