Currently
So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
He graduated â from SMU
For a good chunk of my life, I responded to that perennial question with the classic answer that always shut everybody up. “Lawyer,” I’d say curtly. And that was that. Everybody understood. And approved.
The truth was, I didn’t want to be a lawyer. I thought I did â growing up in a society like ours, if you did well enough at school, and displayed certain abilities, your pick of professions was expected to revolve around medicine and law. It wasn’t easy to say: I want to be a roving photojournalist. Even as early as seven, I had a vague idea â the bylines at the back of photo essays and reports from the field excited me. Photography by ABC in Baku, additional reporting by XYZ in Astana… The sound of faraway places, particularly those in Central Asia, still excites me. I wanted to be in all these places, make all those pictures and write all those words. I wanted to work wherever, have no home or office or wardrobe â just me, my backpack and my laptop. I didn’t know how, but I wanted it somehow.
The year I started university, I switched to a Mac. Part of what that meant was that I tuned in to everything Steve Jobs had to say. That year, Steve Jobs gave a commencement speech at Stanford. It changed my life, and how the coming four years were going to be. The gist of what he said was, “stay hungry, stay foolish”, “you gotta find what you love”. He also talked about connecting the dots.
My past 3 years have been all about connecting the dots. I write this now in a Bangkok cafe, slacking off from work â I have a ton of work, pitches, previews, drafts and reports, to catch up on and send around the world. Next month this scene will be repeated in Chennai, Mumbai, Puri, Delhi, perhaps even Pakistan. If you asked me a year ago what I’d be doing with my life, I would have said… well, I dunno, something to do with writing and photography, I guess. It didn’t take me very long in university to decide I hated school and didn’t want anything more than to get out of it asap â I also had a good feeling about India, and always thought there might be something waiting for me there. I didn’t know what. But I had to find out. So I took off for India, for the second time, with one backpack. I saw the Taj, rode camels, mastered the Indian railway system, ate amazing street food, had diarrhea too many times, and… the last week before I was due home, I met a man in Bombay who would be the one factor that would unwittingly change the course of my future. He was a photojournalist of some repute, and his journalist had just left abruptly. Would I be interested in taking over? The job scope, he said, involved going to one of the world’s wettest places during the monsoon. If you’re up for going to the Northeast, and living in the world’s wettest town for a while, you can write the story. He mentioned the publication which was likely to buy the story; but he didn’t have to. Something clicked. I came back to Singapore, and I was back in Bangalore less than 30 days after leaving. That work took me to Bangladesh, then to Meghalaya, where for a month I spent time in places I wouldn’t otherwise have gone, speaking to people few had ever seen. I sat 2 metres from a man with multi-bacillary leprosy, who had travelled from Bogra to Sirajgonj (200km) for treatment, and because he had just two toes left he had to come by lying on an oxcart. I had to sit in front of him while Dr Mujibur Rahman pulled out some of his last toes and cleaned up all that pus, and say, apnar naam ki, apnar gram-er naam ki? bosch koto? The next week I was learning Khasi in a Khasi tea house and having the Khasis talk about finding a Manipuri husband for me. I made as much as I would have, perhaps even more, working 9-5, Mondays to Fridays, once you factor in favourable exchange rates.
The story I eventually wrote was to be published in January. It wasn’t. February. It wasn’t. March came and I was getting a little worried. Then that email came â can you furnish some clarifications, and write an extra 200 words about this and that? I did that within 24 hours, and by the middle of March it had gone to press â and it was going to be the cover story. Beginner’s luck, perhaps. What if I had stepped into Barista in Colaba, Bombay, that fateful day, and decided this man was either trying to pick me up or was a complete weirdo, with his goldie dreadlocks and bizarre sarong? Or if he offered me the opportunity, but I was too scared to take it up, too scared to return to work with someone I’d met for an hour in a supposedly dangerous part of India (terrorist insurgencies galore in the Northeast)? Or if I’d gone â and let the fact that at no point was this story ever confirmed to be published, bother me so much I couldn’t write it? I choose to believe I never know until I try, and the worst that could have happened was that I wouldn’t deliver but had a nice holiday in Bangalore, Calcutta, Meghalaya and Bangladesh anyway. It was all luck, yes, but even if luck stared you in the eye, the onus is still upon you to connect the dots somehow and make it work for you. It takes a huge dose of being hungry and being foolish, all at the same time.
I haven’t made it yet â there’s still so much to conquer. But I now know what I am capable of, and what is within my reach. For someone with 6 months of school left to go, it’s not bad at all: I’m spending my entire summer on assignment, chasing the fantastic stories I’d always wanted to write and shoot, and not having to worry about where they will go. Having absolutely no talent for being the CFO (Chief Filing Officer) at Morgan Stanley or other such esteemed organizations, this will have to do. And it’s doing mightily fine. In a way this feels like the only way I know ‘work’ can be. I leave the city tomorrow at 5am to catch a 7 hour bus to the Burma border, just me, my backpack and my gear, and khanom jinn for breakfast. I have one major assignment lined up but that won’t be until 3 weeks from now, so in the meantime I’m going to chase a story I think could work. I don’t know how. I don’t know how much money I will make. I can’t even tell you for sure where I will be next month, the month after, certainly not after December, after I graduate. I know I can’t be more thankful for the way things have turned out, and for an amazing family and significant other that’s been behind me every step of the way. Or for friends who have dreams as strange as mine â especially that Indonesian rockstar-to-be, you know who you are. When you have massive Jakarta concerts, get me a front row seat, and remember our Bangkok.
41 Comments
Chase those dreams. Good luck!
Like Mitch said.
But why does it feel like I’ve heard you say all this before, more than once, though with different words?
Cos I\’m a broken ipod in more than one way, according to Z :) And i probably said so in different words at dinner with you.
Dear dear me. You just sullied the dreams of those who genuinely want to be doctors. Tsk tsk. Haha.
I can see from your words that you really enjoy what you are doing now. Keep chasing those dreams and they’ll eventually take you up to the sky and beyond!
reading this, i’m just so happy for you. how many out there would be able to say, “this is what i wanted to do all my life.” i’m glad you found it. and i sure hope i have the courage to pursue mine. =)keep going girl!
a highly inspirational post.. fuelled by the desire to constantly improve your being. anyway, i find it amazing that you’ve gained so much knowledge about mac stuff despite switching not too long ago. i’ve switched for about the same time as you but i’ve barely scraped the surface of what macs can do..
That’s Ja. Hahaha.
Adri,
It sounds like you’ve found what you love doing, and are chasing that dream. That takes courage! I found your words inspiring.
All the best,
Jem
Where life takes you, you receive it with such wide-eyed wonder and enthusiasm. Aspire, adri, and always appreciate these opportunities. Thanks for having the courage to dream…I’m sure you’ve given us readers more than just a dose of motivation to continue pursuing ours!
You are living proof that people are happiest when chasing their dreams. You give me the courage to chase my dreams and draw my path instead of the path that has been laid out for me.
Thank you. :)
reach out for the stars!
I always thought you had been using Macs much longer.
You’re an amazing young woman but then I think you know that already. I’m not coming back to SG this time round but knowing you you probably won’t be there so I’ll just wait for a bit and maybe when your pursuits takes u to melbourne we can catch up here yo.
Your stories thrill me, even though I heard it more than once, it never ceases to amaze me.
I have dreams, bizzare as yours, yet to realise, friends call me a dreamer, but I never stop pursuing. Perhaps I shouldn’t, your story is an inspiration, kept me alive and going. Some said I’m too naive, I would say I don’t give up.
oi, i thought we had a deal to leave those inspiring words for your biography-book. Damn now my get-rich-quick plan is off the hook. Leave the whole telling ur life-story business to me la..
:) totally understand what you mean.. been reading your entries quite regularly. go for your dreams! for every 10 people who did not meet or did not dare to pursue their dreams and regret, there will be a minority who actually did and are happy. it makes it all worthwhile innit? :)
There you go! I just think you are one of those fortunate people who are keen enough to know what you want from your own life and what you are apt for: You alredy are a good phootojournalist. Just keep going on your way, girl!
You just reminded me of the movie that I wanted to ask your opinion of; Did you see ‘Born into Brothels’, the documentary film on kids in the red light district in Calcatta?
Ah.. sigh! The best post I’ve read today.. That picture is great btw, and the article was a fantastic one, made my feet itch to head back to India. So, you’ll get your dreams no doubt about it. And you and Jobs are right… staying hungry, and foolish is where it’s at…although i call it -passion and keeping the eyes wide open. But whatever it is, keep doing what you’re doing…makes for great reading, and is certainly inspiring.
Great post. Very inspiring.
It is just so so so hard for us Singaporeans to really answer the calling within us.
I think you more or less get the idea already.. that the path to chase our dreams will always be treacherous and difficult.. but when we get there.. it’ll all be a smooth ride.
Take it from the 1st Singaporean Geologist in 25 years from the University of Manchester. its a tough and long journey.
i was really moved by this post. u will make it, believe me :)
Wow, that was a great post. I hope something like that is in my future.
Good luck with everything.
every time someone asks me what i want to do, i answer ‘lawyer’ too. just so they would shut up.
but i have never wanted to be a lawyer. and now i regret ever saying that i want to be one; everyone now expects me to be one.
i envy you. you took the leap of faith.
but me. i might be stuck doing something i hate for the rest of my life.
good luck girl. go chase those dreams.
Depends on what is our definition of a “career” or what we want to do or be when we grow up. When a child grows up, he/she can be anyone or do anything he/she wants to be. Simply equating a “career” to a “job” would by today’s terms be somewhat out-of-date. IMHO it would be a more of a concept in life and one in which we would be satisfied with as we live our lives.
you fail to mention that dreams can only be pursued by the educated and the comfortably well-off (not necessarily rich).
poor, impoverished people like us are forced to take on any job, usually the labor-intensive kind. dreams? they remain as that. hopes? only for the better. travel? non-existent.
but congratulations, you. what dreams may come.
go for it gal… =).. all the best… many of us have dreams, yet not many dare to realise it..
ah about the quote by s. jobs ’stay hungry’.. totally true.. totally agree…
Some successful people on earth started with nothing. After all a man with nothing holds the biggest potential, rich or poor, educated or not, given the any circumstance the only difference that lies between those who make it and those who don’t is the reason they give to themselves.
Unless one faces starvation, to say that dreams can only be pursued by the comfortable is rather baseless. Because we are the living proof of those who started with nothing.
Let circumstances explain not excuse.
“I write this now from a Bangkok cafe…”
I chuckled when I read this. Soon you will be writing from a cafe in Kampala or Bukhara.
I too, was similarly inspired when I read Steve Jobs’ commencement speech and re-reading it again gave me the same jolt. I guess I’m trying to forge my own way too. Right now when people ask me what I want to do when I grow up (ie graduate) I have no answer…there really is no ready job description for the work I want to do. Work with refugees? Eliminate pain and suffering?
Keep chasing your dreams Adri! I want to read that article when it comes out. Maybe we’ll meet on the road one day :)
you read stories of poor people who succeed, but what of the millions who haven’t? all they (we) have are dreams, a few pennies and a lot of bills to pay. welfare is out of the question in singapore, theft will lend you in big trouble, and sleeping in void decks is frowned upon, maybe even illegal.
i’m no longer in singapore and had the blessing of being brought over to where i am, but i struggle still. where do we look to to fulfill our dreams? the factories? the slaughterhouses? the back alleys?
most of you here are young and educated. with it comes along a poignant idealism - good, definitely - but it is not a template for all. you can go to third world nations and see poverty, celebrate their innate joy, cry with them and think that you’ve experienced life (that i don’t doubt, i wouldn’t negate your experiences), but look in your own backyard. not all is glitter and glam i assure you.
if you haven’t gone hungry for days, if you haven’t lived on $50 handouts, if you haven’t been driven to desperation by joblessness, if you haven’t had your drunk and druggy other beat the life out of you - you haven’t seen the ugly Singaporean life. it exists.
people don’t commit suicide because they have dreams. they take their lives because they have no more hope, no more dreams, and nothing left, literally.
i certainly support dreams, ambitions and what nots, but i’m trying to point here, that everyone can dream, but not all will see their hopes fulfilled in this life.
Most of us here are young but certainly not living with silver spoons in our mouth. Singapore is a third world country with a first world infrastructure, having said that it does not take a classroom moral education lesson to have us coming to terms with the bleak side of life that a good 70% of us are facing.
I must say that I have been blessed enough to not have faced such dire state of mankind but that is not to say that I (or we) am(are) not confronted by it entirely.
I think the greatest disservice one can do to the kids who come from those broken family is tell them that to dream is merely a privilege. And there will always this fine line between dreaming and believing and just so happen that only the persistent few make that transition.
Poppy did not forget to mention. Knowing her, she could have written an entire book on how the world is fucked up but it’s people like her and her family who are never hesitant to extend help to the less fortunate that makes a difference, more importantly to change mindset that is to dream is more of a right rather than a privilege. How one is to claim it and when is another matter altogether.
Then again, it scares me to note that I might shift my argument twenty years down the road. Aren’t we all.
Thank you!
I’m really happy for you, Adri! :-)
Wonderfully inspirational. You’ve reiterated much of what has been driving me to stay in Indonesia these last few years: that there’s so much out there beyond MTV, Britney, and McDs.
I should come back to this post every time I begin wondering what I’m doing here. You’ve summed up much of what defines a traveler from a tourist.
I think I’m still finding my path with photography, culture, travel, and writing, and would say you’re well on your way down the right one for you - what a great feeling that must be.
I look forward to seeing what you’re capable of achieving in coming years.
i think all of us at sajc arts02 are really proud of you :)
continue to believe, photojournalist?
:)
Hi…
I find myself in a similar situation as yours =)
Though instead of lawyer, I said, Geologist and everybody disapproved.
Right now, I’m currently waiting to go into Uni but unfortunately, lacking in funding for my course overseas for Geology.
I’m happy for you that you are able to chase those dreams. I wish things would be the same for me as well. Take care!
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