Travelling Solo
10 Apr
Somebody responded to my tales and plans of travelling solo with an uncalled for “but the last girl I met who went to (insert third world country here) by herself, never came back! You should go with a man!” Sorry, I don’t need — or want one — for travelling, companionship, or other purposes. For _any_ purpose.
Classmates mention exchange programs to Istanbul and they are inevitably met with “but Turkey is dangerous! Isn’t it in the Middle East?” protestations.
“Why are you going to India again?”
“You’re spending time in the hill tribe alone?”
If anyone knew the true nature of my summer plans, they’d know I’d _never_ be alone. You are never alone in India. Ever. What is it with people, really? What are they afraid of? And why are people so afraid, and so annoyingly so? Why are people afraid on my behalf? I’m afraid of people. I’m afraid of being around annoying Singaporean people who will spoil my trip: so no hardcore travelling with friends, and certainly no groups. I don’t see a point in walking out of my house thinking a pot will fall on my head; so why should I be worried about unforeseen circumstances which are always gory, and related to death, abduction or rape?
Here’s a dare — book a one way flight somewhere, bring no guidebook, and go by yourself. Just bring a strong dose of independence, confidence, street wisdom and common sense. I think you’ll find that’s all you need to survive anywhere. Showering in cold water if you have to; being on a train for 40 hours if you have to; eating by the street because you have to, and really, doing whatever the hell you want, because you can. The “it’s just you” thing doesn’t work; it’s not about backpacking, and it’s not about travelling. It’s about finding your feet and adapting.
Why India? Why not? It’s there, and it’s home to me. Why Pakistan? Why not? It’s there. Why Bangladesh? Because somebody paid me to go there and I actually had a good time. We could go on for ages. The point is, there’s plenty to see in the world if you’re a curious individual; I’m merely starting with the places that fascinate me the most, e.g. South Asia. Pick whatever country you want. It works the same way, and I can assure you travelling solo isn’t going to be too difficult. Gender can’t be a good excuse either. There is no reason why being female means you can’t do anything, I emphasize, anything at all, without a man in your life. India is now (to my mind at least) one of the easiest places to travel solo in. All it took was the guts to do it, and the ability to laugh at everything and talk to everyone. Maybe one day I will feel the same about China. Thailand solo is a walk in the park (if difficulty was a 10, Thailand would be a 0.5). I have never lost items, never been stolen from, never been robbed, very seldom ripped off, and hopefully things will continue to be so — I think refusing to panic, lose your temper, or otherwise ‘lose it’, goes a long way. Maybe you’ll learn that the dodgy man fidgeting with your magazines and books in the Indian train isn’t going to steal it — it’s simply a custom to share literature in 3AC and sleeper class; so don’t overreact, and give people a chance (though be smart about it).
The hundreds of people I meet on their one year/ two year/ three year/ forever round the world solo trips make me think I’m not the only one. Perhaps solitary travel only works for certain people, only these misanthropes like us enjoy being left to our devices for months; and the way things are shaping up these days, it’d better be working for me. It now puts food on my table and very possibly will continue to, so…
Now I miss India, my bharat ma.
_Slightly incoherent, grumpy rant ends here. I’m feeling fragmented, incoherent, grumpy and sleepy all at the same time. With one exam down and more to go, before my beautiful snorkelling, 50 baht kahlua milkshakes and hot girls pack up this weekend in Ao Toh Ko, KPP._
