Lost While Translating
March 16th, 2007 | Published in general | 26 Comments
Quick, I need help translating the following into Chinese. URGENTLY!
- Please believe in toilet paper. I know all of you haven’t believed in it in the last 3 months, but it’s really quite useful (I know you don’t believe in water pipes either, since we don’t have any). What can I do to make you believe in the importance of toilet paper other than to buy them for you?
- You know these things we call sanitary pads. Wrapping used sanitary pads with something â anything! toilet paper? plastic? renminbi? â is supposed to come before disposing them into the sanitary bin. If you don’t, the adhesive undersides will stick on the tray and therefore not fall into the bin. Bloody side up and exposed, all it takes is two of them before the ENTIRE BIN becomes unusable (cos no one wants to touch that thing with a barge pole, and we don’t have a maid). I’m not sure you realize this and if you are going to live in Singapore for 4 years, I hope you do, soon.
- I understand all of you are the products of your country’s One Child Policy. But from one spoiled Singaporean brat, only two generations removed from China, to another: could you please NOT leave your expired bread rolls, preserved vegetables, cups and dishes in the sink for more than 3 days, and also clear the bin on your way out?
- BTW the person who cleans the house, the sink, and who removes the locks of your hair from the toilet isn’t me, it’s my “best friend”, the one gawking at you in your underwear (for all the wrong reasons).
- P.S. To get back at you, and because I can’t really say all that in Chinese without stammering, I’ve been stealing your toothpaste and fruit juice.





