Popagandhi

On the topic of travel, seeing as that I have a trip on the horizon, it appears our parents’ generation is mostly incapable of fathoming the idea of independent travel, sans by-the-hour itinerary, sans guide and a clear idea on what you will be doing at a certain time of a specified date. Just for kicks though, I started to wonder what a “sample itinerary” might look like, if they really had to know - since we were asked to produce one so they know exactly where we are and what we’re doing. The thing is, we have no idea, but it probably goes a little something like this:

Day 1

12.15: Try to wake up
12.30: Fall back asleep
12:55: Try to wake up again
13:00: Cat stretch
13:30 Really, really wake up
14:00: Eat ‘breakfast’
14:20: Roll about in bed
15:00: Really, really wake up this time
15:30: Drink beer and smoke
16:00: Smoke 10th ciggie
16:10: Walk to beach
16:15: Find favourite spot on beach
16:20: Lay mat on beach
16:30: Tan
17:30: Tan, drink more beer, smoke more ciggies
18:30: Sun’s down, so remain lying down, but drink even more beer and smoke even more
19:30: Bathe
20:00: Sit at beach bar, drink more
21:00: Finally eat dinner
22:00: Go back to hotel
22:30: Roll about in bed, and..

As you can see, we can’t exactly write a proper itinerary because (1) we’re not travel agents (2) we’re not ambitious (3) we don’t usually have plans, and there are some things which are just better left unsaid. Besides, the itinerary above was already an ambitious one which had carefully steered away from displaying too many of the actual vices involved, and I don’t want to cause a heart attack or raised blood pressure. What happened to travel just for travel’s sake - or just for the sake of moving? The packaged tour industry has ruined it for us. There can’t and there shouldn’t be any day 2 Chatuchak market arrive at 3pm meet back here at 5pm, or any day 4 wake up at 5.30am and leave at 7am. Like all those meticulously planned days at school camps, since nothing’s ever followed, why bother?

I look at a long distance bus or train journey and my pulse races in excitement; overland crossings, land border activity and shady characters. My entire point of travel is to get to my intended destination in the longest way possible. But I’m hardworking only up to this extent - the moment I get there, I drift into this state of nua-ness, and nothing can make me budge from my beach mat; the cheap beer and beach massages usually doesn’t help.

Then I’m too nua to make my way home again.

In the company of backpackers, try the following trick: ask for the day of the week. They might be able to tell you with some conviction tomorrow is the 8th because their train ticket says so, they might be able to say with some accuracy it must be Wednesday because last week they were in Laos and on the 4th they came to Cambodia, and having spent 3 days here it must be Wednesday - but no one’s ever sure, and nobody’s checked for the last couple of months. My only itinerary is to lie on a beach and drink some more beer, and maybe when my camera’s memory card is full, hitchhike down to town in a songthaew to burn them into a CD and buy some more fags. And go back to my luxurious $12 a night room and cat stretch again.

Which in itself, is a kind of itinerary.