Currently
Roadblocks and Roadkills
a.k.a. I’m Going Away From This Blog For A While
With such a long academic break ahead of me, I have started to think long and hard about specific issues. Issues like my academic pursuits, and the changes I am looking at effecting in that area. My skills, my prospects; the battles I choose to fight, battles that choose to fight me.
One of these issues is this site. To be more specific - the relation of this site, to my offline existence; the focus of this blog; the readership levels and the semi-fame it brings. I thought I could handle fame but I’m not so sure anymore. My priorities have shifted far beyond the world of blogs and the web. I have, to be honest, no further interest in blogging.
That’s because it has brought me a mixed bag of fruits. I have become synonymous with several things but it is not the extent of who I am. Reading me is not the same as knowing me - it is knowing what I let you know of me. The rest is inference. I have met many people through this medium, some of whom have become my trusted friends over the years. I have, at my disposal, a tool to reach out to a large audience by simply hitting Publish. As one of the larger sites, and as someone who’s “out” - this coupling has borne mixed results. On the one hand, it was always in line with my personal objectives, that being open and vocal about the issue of my sexuality would help someone who needs to know it is nothing to be ashamed of, that the normalization of something perceived as taboo might set the foundation for the future. On the other - I am not out to family, and have epic battles of tradition and religion in front of me. Few in my age group - hence dating pool, and former and present lover(s) - are out either, some not even to friends. Being associated with Popagandhi is an unnecessary hindrance I sometimes wish I didn’t have to bear them down with. This is especially so now that I am involved with a wonderful person with whom I am looking forward to sharing many happy days with - and to adversely affect our relationship in any way, especially with a shared set of mutual relations and acquaintances and institutions - would kill me.
I think we often forget that I may be Popagandhi, but Popagandhi is not me. I forget this myself, too. I am not as opinionated as Popagandhi appears to be. I am not intimidating in any way. I do not speak in perfect English at all times of day. You may add Mac and gay and young to my name, but knowing all these are my characteristics do not mean you know who I am. I’ve thought about this for a long time - first when I put this site through a hiatus in September last year - but I’m none the wiser. My priorities have shifted. There are things which are important to me now.
I will be gone for a while.
I will be working on several other projects.
I will be working to pay off my debts and to finance my dream of seeing India again.
The site will not disappear - for now - I can’t kill it just like that. At the very worst, I can promise at least some form of archival of my favourite pieces (and yours). At the best I may revamp and redesign and return, but with a new and more impersonal approach where you will know me as Popagandhi and not as Adrianna, as a writer but not as a blogger or a person you think you know or who is a friend of a friend of a friend of a classmate.
The whole problem is: this country is too fucking small. As are the social circles we tread in. I’m not one to be affected by what is said or thought, usually - but when consequences are real and tangible, and what I cannot dodge, I have no choice but to listen. If I am speaking in parables, it is only to protect myself. As I have learned to ever since readership began to consistently see figures which make me dizzy.
58 Comments
I’m sad to see you go; I’ve very much enjoyed reading this site for some time. I hope you decide to come back soon. Thanks for everything, and good luck for the future, and with whatever you decide to dive into instead.
best wishes,
Marcus, Sweden
Am somewhat disappointed to hear that your clarion voice has chosen to fade away, but appreciate your contraints and respect your decision. For not dissimilar reasons I have never been able to blog, in spite of a personal desire to and numerous friends attempting to persuade me to.
Hope you will continue popagandhi in some form, perhaps one less public.
All the best in love and the rest of life.
So long…and thanks for the fish.
Your wonderful writings will be missed. But hey - there’s more to life than blogging. I wish you all the best!
Aiyo. What am I going to entertain myself with now? Oh well, best of luck to you in whatever you decide to pursue, Mac geek.
Oh dear. This particular post is bad news, but I still enjoyed reading it.
I look forward to the day you write on-line again, and in the meantime, best of luck in all that you do.
Your writings will be sorely missed.
While my blog isn’t exactly famous or anything, I figure I can relate to a lot of what you say; reading someone’s blog isn’t the same as knowing someone, and I think it’s hard for readers to realize that, even after reading you for so long, they still have no idea who you really are.
And yes, Singapore IS really small, isn’t it.
Well, here’s hoping you continue writing, in some form or another, because you do it well, miss.
Regards,
J.
Even though it sounds sappy to me writing it, thank you for sharing as much as you did. i really liked your blog. and for one random thing in particular, thanks for the inflammatory writ. hers and yours. i pick up little pieces of my life in such strange places.
jc
san francisco
Shall miss you. Sometimes we put so much of ourselves into what we write without realising it, and then it’s a little hard to take it back, yeah?
all the best in your future endeavours, and your writing shall be missed sorely.
(the reason i kept coming back to ur site was for ur poetry-prose. i loved them.)
sigh.
To save time and trouble, why not just focus on your Apple adventures and Mac comments. I love reading your perspectives on hardware, software, etc.
And since you do have a lot of readers, try getting a few Mac related ads on here to help pay for your time and the site. A starving author might also be able to make use of a donation button as well. (^_-)
Thank you for your time and trouble with entertaining us here. You are a great and thoughtful writer, and you offer a Mac user in the USA like me a unique perspective on daily life in your part of the world.
Yes, life beyond blogging can be wonderful :-) Don’t kill it though. You are such a good writer! Want to read more of your writing.
I only have five blogs bookmarked, yours is one of them. I’ve enjoyed your writing so much that it’s sad to read that you’ll be gone.
But as the others have said, there’s so much more to life than blogging, and I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
In the meantime, we will all wait with bated breath for your return (to writing, though not necessarily in the form of a blog).
Jason
Manila
Giving in to the dark side you are. We are much dissapointed. Not because we have less posts to read.
We are afraid that, somehow, you have changed.
Trawling the internet since the time it was all html and vibrating gifs, you are already different from most. Being one of the earliest to start a blog, and consistantly putting in content of standard, sets you apart from others. Your love for macs does nothing, in helping you fit in with society. Your sexual orientation, whilst being more socially acceptable than loving Apple(kidding), is another one of those traits that sets you apart; that many people, I dare say, like you for.
You were born to be different, to be special. Nothing you do, would ever make you common. And you trying to be, breaks our hearts.
Thanks Adrianna. Good luck, and I hope to read whatever you decide to publish again soon.
I’ll miss you, Popagandhi/Adri. It seems to me that some consequences originated from the blog bothers you a lot. Don’t leave us for long, please? Because what you writes here also affects thousands(!) of minds around the world. Why? You writes sensationally about things that never occured to some of us. And you take wonderful pics…
Thank you for all of these.
Damn. I’m really sorry to see you go Adri. I love your observations on life, on macs, on your family, on everything. Despite the feelings of regret, I think this is a good move on your part. You should publish a book of essays on your experiences, I’m sure there are plenty of publishers who would be willing to sign you up. Adri, you’ve got the gift, so please think seriously about making a career out of it. Take it easy, and be well.
I hate for it to be true and I know so many people out there claim “I don’t give a damn how you judge me”, but things just seem to go wrong when readers think they know who you are from a few sentences.
You know, Popaghandi, I’ve never thought of you as a blogger. You are a writer, already. And I still want to read you. Please take care.
Meh. It took me 13 hours of thinking to realise that I have already said what I want to say over the past year of comments.
Thank you, yeah?
Thank you, have enjoyed reading your honest and occasionally hilarious observations and opinions. i’ve been an anonymous reader for a while and hav never had the guts nor conjured up the enthusiasm to start blogging for the very reason that i wouldnt want to be editing my thoughts and feelings just for the sake of readers/lawyers. thumbs up for your courage. saddens me to hear how people are so quick to judge…
well at least i know now where to find banana prata in bkk. all e best…
most unfortunate that the departure/hiatus of your site is imperative(in your opinion) at the moment. i thrive on popaghandi, i mean, just look at my blog. (:
i’ve been reading your blog for quite a while now - not so much a blog anymore as a site for commentary and writing. it’s gone beyond what most blogs are. and frankly, it would be nice if you didn’t have to stop.
but you’ve decided to, and it’s your choice. thanks for everything. we’ll miss you.
You shall be missed. I wish you well :)
We all live in different Realities
I wish you all the best! Totally agree with you, Singapore is a really small place.
And I guess, kind of “in line” with your entry, I saw you at the authentic fish & chips restaurant on Friday night. I actually wanted to say hi, but I figured you wouldn’t need some random reader interrupting your departure.
thank you, adri. for letting us glimpse into your life. although i must say i’m sad at your decision and i would really miss your writing.
i wish you well. and please do consider returning to writing some day. =)
adri adri adri.
i believe i’ve told u this or perhaps written it somewhere before: u’re a special, special girl, one of the few truly unique people i’ve ever met.
u inspire me a great deal, have i ever told u that?
when i look at u i see intelligence & passion - written all over that pretty face of urs. & because u write like a dream, i hope u never stop writing. get a journal much more private than this & keep writing.
& pass me the bloody URL.
hahaha.
aigh.first time leavin a tag thoe ive been following ur blog. ur blog touched me in more ways than u can imagine. ur perspective of life.. ur ideals.. ur life. sincerely wishin u e best in ur endeavours.
The first post of yours I read was ‘Release’ and that simply blew me away. Well, the other non-story-like stuff has been informative and sometimes funny to read, but I agree with someone above that you’re, in my mind, a writer. Your writing is fantastic, no matter the type of post, and it’s a loss to us that you have to go. Hope to see here if you ever set up a site for stories that you want to share. Thanks, and best wishes.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and life with us. Yours is the only blog which I’ve bookmarked. Your writings have always left me in awe
I only started reading Popagandhi recently, but in this short time I found myself visiting this site everyday. I certainly hope to read more of your excellent, insightful writing in the future. Till then, I will miss Popagandhi dearly. Take care, and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours!
wat the fark happened?!? why did u just disappear and stop blogging when i just start to fall in luv with your blog…
that stings…and suck big time…
but wadever…since u made the decision, i out to support your decision. All the best to wadever u are doing girl. all the best…*sob*
The idea is this: I take some time off to breathe and to do some other things - while thinking about what I want to do with Popagandhi.com. I am currently bursting with ideas, though I am hoping to ‘come back’ with a site focused on writing (rather than blogging) - merged with the use of some cutting edge technology.
I don’t see the future of popagandhi.com in a blog. That is all. Meanwhile, I am also doing some writing, some of which you might see elsewhere - I will keep you posted.
Will certainly miss reading Popagandhi, if not for anything else, the words. Perhaps, its time to stay in touch by other means and not the blog :) All the very best!
Well, it’s a relief to know that you’re not gonna disappear, after all. Rock on! :)
Bye Popogandhi. Will miss your writings.
cool! couldn’t care less about blogs really. your writing is a different matter. er well, just saying it’s great popagandhi.com won’t ‘close’ totally. although you have my best wishes no matter what you choose ultimately to do. thanks again!
as a fellow blogger, i am in support of your decision because there comes a time for most of us to take a step back and well, sort out the blurring lines of online and offline personas. -) all the best in all that you’re up to, and it’s been great all this while!
Glad to hear that.
Glad you’re still writing, at least. Take all the time you need.
I have been really encouraged by your strong voice here and will support you next time you show up in any form, here or anywhere else. We readers know you are a hell of a good writer already that I admire and almost jealous! The very best!
I must admit, your real self is very different from your online identity. I prefer your real self and I look forward to experiencing it abit more of it in future, if fate permits.
It’s time to find your Indian summer…
Bugger that, I’ve only started reading this blog in the past couple of months! Can’t go away already. But if you do decide to write here, can we have an RSS feed? Please, pretty please :)
The Lifecycle of Bloggers!
have a blessed life away from the virtual sunshine adrianna. If you do decide to come back, i hope you won’t shy away from exuding the same amount of openness and insight you’ve been provding your readers with.
God bless.
You write good. So good. Although I been reading your entries on/off, I always refer back to the entries i’ve missed while I was away. It’d be a real pity, if you really stop writing. That said, best wishes in the future.
Wow, another blog gone.
You will be sorely missed.
That said, see you in school and hopefully, in soccer.
Another blogger going for a rest..good come back and post even better ones…
you need to do what you have to do - and may that peace comes soon.
but your writing will be missed, not for long, i hope.
AMSTERDAM LOVE
SCHMOOF
sound of mari’s bladder exploding need to find toilet soon.
Thanks for the journey. Tashidele.
first time i comment (i think) and it’s to say…i’ll be waiting patiently for your return! i don’t know you in RL, i don’t claim to do so, but i do love popagandhi, so please do come back, for me? :)
What bad timing on my part. Thanks to a Kottke link, I just became a huge fan! I’ll look forward to reading the archival you and all the best wishes.
Hey Adri,
came across your blog a few weeks back and i’m glad to hear that you’re doing well, at least from what I can infer. Hope to see you sometime in S’pore this summer, take care of yourself.
:( bye for now, adri. don’t be a stranger.
Is this blogicide going to be reversed again, just as the last one was (and a few others were, so we’re told)?
Then again it’s not that time of year yet.
This isn’t a blogicide. I never said it was one. Hiatus might be more approrpriate.
:) cool
waiting
looks like you’ve a case of this