Since the number “2″ was “affixed to my age”:http://popagandhi.com/93/turning-twenty/, I’ve noticed some peculiar behaviour:
# I’ve gotten organized; my schedule, my thoughts, my priorities, my to-dos. iCal is permanently open, I have these utilitarian “at a glance” tables which tell me exactly when what is due, and how much each of it is out of my total grade, and these “important: participate in online discussion to get 5% in participation” notes to self.
# I’m strangely driven. More driven than I ever was in the last 19 years put together — driven not because I have to, but because _I want to_. I think I’ve studied harder over the last few months, than for my O levels and A levels combined.
# I’ve started to be concerned about the state of _my finances_. For starters, there’s this Excel sheet I keep to track my inflows and outflows. I’m thinking in terms of budgets, saving, interest, building assets. Isn’t that scary?
# I religiously read sites on personal finance for young people. (c.f. point 3)
# I keep looking at babies and young children, harassing them, and entertaining thoughts of having my own.
# I have a _list of priorities_.
# I drink in moderation, restrict myself on many other vices, and constantly think about _my responsibilities_, honesty and truth, and promises.
# I worry all the time about what I’m going to accomplish, when I’m going to write my book, when I’m going to get on the Dean’s List, who I’ll get to intern with, when I’ll get to move to New York, when I’ll see India again; despite knowing that it really doesn’t matter. I don’t remember ever worrying about a single thing before I was 20 something.
# I’m thinking less in terms of defeats or conquests; and more in terms of marginal returns and long term sustainability.
# I keep remembering to remind myself to _exercise_, but of course I seldom get down to doing it.
Somewhere in between thinking about all these points, and listening to my “favourite cynical leftie sistah-in-arms”:http://ballsy.wordpress.com/ meditate upon the finer points of _applying for employment at statutory boards and other esteemed institutions_, recognizing myself there, I had a fleeting vision of the pitter patter of _one point eight_ children running about in a HDB flat smelling of Johnsons and Johnsons after their bath.. I felt very, very ill, compulsively stuffed _pappadums_ into my mouth, and continued recording projected financial outflows for the month of February, offset by the inflows to come, into my Excel spreadsheet.
possibly related
Thoughts on Excel /
On Giving /
24 Things /
Growing Up, Doing Stuff /
Singlish Security Lecture /
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Regarding Growing Up
Since the number “2″ was “affixed to my age”:http://popagandhi.com/93/turning-twenty/, I’ve noticed some peculiar behaviour:
# I’ve gotten organized; my schedule, my thoughts, my priorities, my to-dos. iCal is permanently open, I have these utilitarian “at a glance” tables which tell me exactly when what is due, and how much each of it is out of my total grade, and these “important: participate in online discussion to get 5% in participation” notes to self.
# I’m strangely driven. More driven than I ever was in the last 19 years put together — driven not because I have to, but because _I want to_. I think I’ve studied harder over the last few months, than for my O levels and A levels combined.
# I’ve started to be concerned about the state of _my finances_. For starters, there’s this Excel sheet I keep to track my inflows and outflows. I’m thinking in terms of budgets, saving, interest, building assets. Isn’t that scary?
# I religiously read sites on personal finance for young people. (c.f. point 3)
# I keep looking at babies and young children, harassing them, and entertaining thoughts of having my own.
# I have a _list of priorities_.
# I drink in moderation, restrict myself on many other vices, and constantly think about _my responsibilities_, honesty and truth, and promises.
# I worry all the time about what I’m going to accomplish, when I’m going to write my book, when I’m going to get on the Dean’s List, who I’ll get to intern with, when I’ll get to move to New York, when I’ll see India again; despite knowing that it really doesn’t matter. I don’t remember ever worrying about a single thing before I was 20 something.
# I’m thinking less in terms of defeats or conquests; and more in terms of marginal returns and long term sustainability.
# I keep remembering to remind myself to _exercise_, but of course I seldom get down to doing it.
Somewhere in between thinking about all these points, and listening to my “favourite cynical leftie sistah-in-arms”:http://ballsy.wordpress.com/ meditate upon the finer points of _applying for employment at statutory boards and other esteemed institutions_, recognizing myself there, I had a fleeting vision of the pitter patter of _one point eight_ children running about in a HDB flat smelling of Johnsons and Johnsons after their bath.. I felt very, very ill, compulsively stuffed _pappadums_ into my mouth, and continued recording projected financial outflows for the month of February, offset by the inflows to come, into my Excel spreadsheet.
possibly related
Thoughts on Excel / On Giving / 24 Things / Growing Up, Doing Stuff / Singlish Security Lecture /