One More Thing

March 24th, 2005 | Published in glbt | 56 Comments

There was going to be a fund-raising concert in aid of Action for Aids, and in hopes of raising awareness and “transforming mindsets”. Affect05 seemed to have risen quickly as a reaction to those unfortunate comments (see here and here). Since I am writing about this in the past tense, I’m sure you can guess what happened: they were refused a license.

The excuse? Such a concert is “against the public interest”.

“We are unable to agree to your application as performances that promote alternative lifestyles are against the public interest“

Remember that the Action for Aids booth that was handing out free condoms and gloves (dental dams? I don’t know) at Nation04 was ordered to pack up by the police because “it is against public interest”. This same party was then blamed for having a role to play in the spike of HIV infections. I mean - what did you want these gay men and women to do? Sit by the beach and watch the sunrise? You couldn’t even expect that of conventional parties.

It is clear from the public statements made by leading figures, past and present, what approach they are using on the issue of homosexuality in Singapore. Words being thrown around include: “alternative”, “lifestyle”, “tendencies”, “against public interest” - all of which imply you’re not supposed to be gay, you can stop if you wanted to, and unless you do you’re going to be an outcast and that’s not going to change. I can’t even begin to tell you how deeply offensive these terms, and its implications, are. But why can’t they just admit their statements stem from blatant homophobia and ignorance, and stop taking the hubristic and pompous “it’s for your own good” line?

It makes me angry that my country is so violently opposed to how I live my life. Even if I am a student just like you, if I live and love just like you, if I love my family just like you, go to church and worship just like you, am as susceptible to pain and heartbreak as you are, sit for the same exams like you do, ask for a phone number and have dinner dates like you do (not jump into bed straight from a club) - we even bleed like everyone does. The people I have elected to love negates all that, and I am automagically transformed into the antithesis of family and values and all things good. My prime minister urged me, in a speech two days ago, to take opportunities offered abroad but to always remember this is home, and consequently remember to build my family here because this is the best place to raise my kids. Apparently. Since I know our definition of “family” differs greatly and can never intertwine, then this rules out everything. I will not stand for living in an environment where my government thinks it knows better than I do, where a church thinks it can change me, where my future employer my insurance firm my bank will not give my future spouse any legal standing since (unlike the imagination of our mothers and our grandmothers) there is no euphemistic term like “very very very good girl friend”.

I’ve been “out” for over a year by now (partially, at least: there’s just parts of my family left) - an act that was then, symbolic as an affirmation of the first woman I was committing to. I still wonder if it was right for me to have done so, and if I really can handle all the ramifications of being openly gay (I tend to overestimate myself on many matters). It’s true that I may have “lost” some, in that I could never hide it from acquaintances, or colleagues, or schoolmates. It’s true that people do talk, and that I have no control over the contents of their whispered conversations. It’s true that the extent of my “outness” does scare away a portion of women I’ve dated, because I am at that age group where few in my dating pool are as reconciled (or as foolhardy). But I don’t care for all that. All I know is that if I hadn’t - I wouldn’t know how to properly and genuinely convey my rage over the HIV issue without feeling in a quandary over the most important aspect of its debate. And I wouldn’t know how to write if I had to mask identities - because the act of simply changing a gender-specific pronoun, really does change everything.

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This made me cry.

Vicnan

Homosexuality is a crime; or so says singapore's law.

what, however, is the true crime, is the detatchement the media creates. It's like if you're gay, you're not a real human. period.

Jol

I really hate them. I am all admiration for you, Adri. It should never have to be a secret. You should never have to be ashamed.

bfranklin

its natural that majority cannot handle differences from the norm.. but as long as the gays/lesbians themselves do not try to differentiate themselves and cry out they are abnormal it would be easy for them to be out in the open.. the problem begins when gays/lesbians feel their own discomfort of being different and therefore thinks they are an alternative lifestyle..

Nicholas Liu

Bfranklin, you clearly have no grasp of reality. Are you honestly of the opinion that the discrimination against homosexuals in Singapore society is *their own fault*?

calm one

"we even bleed like everyone does."

reminded me of this:

"fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die?" -shylock

budak

And with groups like Focus on the Family opposing decriminalisation of gay sex (for the sake of children, they cry) with the tacit support of churches/mosques/concerned mothers&fathers, the die is further loaded against equality for 'alternative' individuals. much less helping them prevent HIV transmissions. And why should it stop at gays? 'Public interest' is a most wonderfully catch-all phrase.

I wonder if it is an accurate observation that often, the most homophobic (or at least homo-apathetic) views are expressed by youngish (aged 15-35) people, including those who dwell in narrow circles (e.g. top schools, churches) but also the not-so-elite (excuse the labelling) segments (think the disgruntled Sammyboy forum type). Whoever thought the young are naturally 'liberal' and 'open-minded' needs to think again.

Overt homophobia is one thing. The 'passive' attitudes such as those expressed by one blogger (who wishes gays would just shut up) become simply another pillar used by both the authorities and opponents to cast gay issues as a non-mainstream issue peppered by narrow interest groups. And why worry? Since for so many people, even the sheer act of speaking up for gay rights is tiresome and redundant. After all, gays in Singapore already have 'pretty much' everything, don't they?

R.

bfranklin> firstly, it's kind of hard to not feel different (at first, at least) when everyone's telling you you're abnormal. (i.e. try wearing bright red shoes to a school where you're only allowed plain white ones.) secondly, i don't think any of this discrimination actually stems from gays/lesbians crying out for attention. most are just minding their own business, living life as they want, when these accusations are levvied at them for being "alternative" and subversive. the only thing they are seemingly guilty for is throwing "closed door" parties, and even then, that's characteristic of many communities and societies - so who's to fault them?

Platypus

Why can't people just stop judging? Let people live their lives the way they choose, if it causes no harm to others, then "let it be."

Laws that deny the individual their right, as consenting adults, to love who they like and how they like really have no place in this century.

adri

R., go easy on bfranklin.. she's one of us. :)

R.

adri > i know. but it doesn't help to explain/justify her "gays/lesbians have brought this fix upon themselves" train of thought.

Vicnan

I'm a lil' confused by bfranklin.. is it then ok for a group of individuals to be picked on for their "abnormal" choices, just because they are the minority?

dagger

Or for that matter, can they help standing out in an environment that insists on differentiating them from the rest of society?

anoymous

hmm... adri... u r a lesbian... turned straight?

hootie

so. going back to the artistes supposed to be performing. the jason and the demarco. are they any good? like never hear before leh. are they any good on stage? like gani isit? i don mind paying good bucks to see quality entertainment... hootie

yj

Thank you for this post, it was the most heartwrenchingly honest piece I've read in a long while. If they take your rights in this country, let them never take your voice. Keep writing, and don't give up.

G

don't fret. keep writing.

anyway, check this out, furry iBooks. weeeee.

http://www.malaran.com/2.0/ibook/furbook.html</br>

adri

anonymous: err. i don't know what you mean.

hootie: i've heard of jason and demarco, just pretty low key performers but have heard good things. think i read about them on planetout.com.

bfranklin

gee i dont know which part of my entry said the discrimination was brought about by the gays / lesbians themselves.. my point is it is NOBODY's fault.. you cant fault the heterosexuals who naturally have difficulties in handling something different from the norm.. and i for one lesbian lead a very much normal life other than my sexual preference.. the only reason i have a pen name was to protect the name of the girl who broke my heart..

all im saying is that heck care what the majority thinks as long as we (gays / lesbians) are leading our own lives and not crying out we are abnormal people with an alternative lifestyle.. get it? thanks adri for backup..

i was very comfortable with myself and do not see myself any different.. so the people around me accepted it readily.. but a friend of mine is still grasping with self-acceptance believing that she was abnormal therefore it was difficult for her environment to accept it.. in time i believe she would be able to understand herself and her life would turn for the better..

Nick

This is why we shouldn't fault white supremacists for crucifying coloured people. Right?

hootie

ahem, going back to jon and de marco. checked out their stuff on amazon. they're awright, good voices, good vocal blending. but the christian angle is heavy going man. certainly turned me off after about 5 songs. its kinda like asking a norah jones listener to try out scissor sisters. but then visually they would have looked good on stage.

would have.

angela

heartwrenching yet beautiful.

any possibility you could lend me your guts so i can out myself?

anon

if it helps.. not everyone is against gays...

Ivan’s Chimera » B

[...] as a nice ring to it. The gay debate has been fired up again, with Noodles reporting and Popagandhi adding a personal dimension to news. For fear of being upgraded to being a PAP lightning, i [...]

hustler

Everyone to his or her own. Fuck all these clowns who think they can tell us how to live our lives. Cheers! :)

donaq

Take heart. Every minority group in every society who ever fought for their rights eventually won against the fucking conservatives. It will take time and effort, but it will eventually happen. They have not the power to stop you because they lack the ability to adapt.

Agagooga

Slavery used to be in the public interest too.

Donaq: In the long run we're dead.

Nick

Donaq, isn't that a bit of a hasty generalisation? It's inaccurate to say that '[e]very minority group in every society who ever fought for their rights eventually won', because many of them are still fighting, and the outlook in many cases isn't good. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, either

donaq

You're quite right, Nick. It was a hasty generalisation. I just didn't want to waste the effort of typing out (or copying and pasting) the specific groups I was thinking of (which I had already, erm, copied and pasted in my own blog) and so I used the word "every" instead. In reality, of course, minority groups either win, get assimilated or perish.

Seeing as homosexuals will never be exterminated or assimilated (their ranks are replenished every generation), though, I sort of think it is inevitable that they will eventually succeed.

By the way, I'm surprised NAMBLA actually exists. I'd always thought that the South Park guys invented it, haha.

donaq

Agagooga: Everybody dies. =_=

maotai

the problem is not with the gays, straights or bis. it is unsafe sex.

if you want to put a finger to it, it is men/ women (regardless of sexual orientation) who f**k around without taking the necessary precautions.

maotai

adri, your country is not "violently" opposed to gays/ lesbians. there are some countries which actually jail and brutalize the community but not singapore. so count your blessings and keep working to change the system in a constructive manner.

Nick

Donaq, fair enough. One hopes.

Maotai: vi

Agagooga

maotai, the countries which jail and brutalize the community are nothing compared to those who lynch gays/lesbians and subject them to scaphism, then slaughter their immediate families for the sin of producing someone with deviant sexuality. So the communities in those countries should count their blessings and keep working to change the system in a constructive manner.

anon

To add to what some people have been saying, here's an excerpt from an interview with madeleine Lim, on

http://www.newsintercom.org/index.php?itemid=52...>

While the average singaporean may be insensitive in dealing with the topic of homosexuality, I think Singapore is a lot less hypocritical than people in some societies.

"Homophobia is much more subtle and implied in Singapore whereas it is more extreme in the US. In Singapore, people will make comments like: "are you a boy or a girl?", and look at you if you're holding hands with another woman. In the US, there are domestic partnership laws and health benefits at work for your same-sex partner but you're also more likely to be beaten up with a baseball bat for being gay. I think Singaporeans are no more or less homophobic than people from other countries. I don't want to generalize, but the only thing that matters in Singapore is the limited access to lesbian and gay literature and support, and that does affects how people view homosexuality. If access to information is easier, they may be a little more understanding. "

G

come on people, do somethin' about it!

http://asuperduperlongusername.blogspot.com/200...>

yes, i'm a shameless whore. but what the hell. weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

adri

anon: while i understand and can see where that sentiment comes from, i'm unwilling to be any more content with "what we have here" simply because of that.

i'm unwilling to confuse interested-but-pretending-not-to-be-looking stares in the MRT by ah peks and aunties and random ah bengs, for any greater degree of tolerance or understanding than is really the case. if i'm serious about my "concerns" (and i am) - i'm going to need to have those "domestic partnership laws and health benefits" around and available for my taking. the presence of those other peripherals (blatant homophobia, fundamentalists) would be totally secondary to me - i could always choose, for example, to stay in a 'friendly' neighbourhood or city.

rather than have silence disguised as tolerance, and absolutely no chance at a shot at.. anything, really. there's a sense of disenfranchisement that makes it impossible to give serious thought to building a family here. it's easy to say i can stay and try to effect a change. but if that's going to come at the expense of my happiness.. i'm really not benevolent enough for that.

ivan

anon: the lack of literature works both ways, gay/lesbian communities also lack the knowledge and drive to progressively change the system. Sadly i've yet to read views centred on anything other than we want our rights and make it happen. The african amercians and women in the past faced the same problems, discriminated against and marginalised. They backed their capaigns with academic literature and scientific studies. I'm know there's more than one prominent academic who's lesbian/gay, but yet local sites do not even endorse nor reject lay/lebian theories or queer theories. It's time for us to actively prompt change not merely with cries of 'give us our rights', but also 'give us our rights because...'

anon

Adri, you've already effected a change just by having this blog...

Parkaboy

Ivan:

I think the only 'because' that will work involves spilling onto the streets in protest and leaving them no choice but to use forcible repression. To make them show their true colours. To force those who say they 'don't really have anything against gays, what' but who are happy to acquiesce in subjugation to take sides.

That's what gave black Africans the civil rights movement; this is what will give Singapore gay rights (or free speech, or the repeal of the ISA, or anything else we want against which the PAP is fundamentally ideologically - that's right, I used the 'i' word - opposed.)

But who wants to be the fall guy? Who wants to take the risk of being the next Chee Soon Juan or Francis Seow, subject to perpetual misunderstanding or ridicule in the case of failure?

And who would you be being the fall guy for? The welfare (in the deepest, truest sense) of a nation of people who maybe - just maybe - don't even have it in them, even when slapped across the face with it, to wake up. (It's not as if Operation Coldstore was particularly subtle.)

If you want change, that's the sacrifice that has to be made. You have to be willing to risk being the fall guy. And if Adri - or anyone else - can't or won't (for perfectly understandable reasons) take that risk, it's fair to say the only real option (besides the psychological and emotional mutilation of buying into the system) is to leave.

Parkaboy

Oops, my bad. "Black Americans". "Black Africans"... d'oh. :)

jules`d

coming out is hard, and even if you have been 'out' for a long time, it still means you have to put up with guilt towards your parents, pissing hushed conversations, and dirty looks. especially if you are walking down the pavement with your girlfriend hand in hand.

sadly, we, fellow homosexuals, live up to high standards and low expectations. this is a fact that we strive to change by fighting for our rights, and hope for one day that we are able to be openly gay and be so goddamn proud of it.

let's take one step closer to true gay pride.

Nick

I don't think 'true gay pride' is enough. The ultimate end is a world where 'gay pride' is as absurd and unnecessary a term as 'straight pride' or 'white pride'.

I doubt we'll live to see it.

Agagooga

How about "Girl Power"?

Nick

What about it?

Agagooga

If "Girl Power" is not absurd and unnecessary, what more "Gay Pride"?

Nick

The ideal is a society where 'girl power' and 'gay pride' are absurd and unnecessary. It's apparent that aren't absurd or unnecessary right now.

Nick

Make that 'that they aren't'.

Agagooga

Erm. Yeah. Right. That was my point.

Nick

One wonders why you thought it needed to be made.

jules`d

the ideal society is somewhat a castle in the clouds, highly unattainable and very very distant.

till then, we all have to live up to labels and to social norms.

Nick

the ideal society is somewhat a castle in the clouds, highly unattainable and very very distant.

No argument there. I meant what I said, no more no less.

knightofpentacles

No trackback system?

Adri, I am borrowing your words for the moment until I can find my own. Context is different, the sentiments are shared with regards to this land.

adri

disabled trackbacks :)

Agagooga

One wonders why Nick needed to drag the issue out over several posts

Nicholas Liu

Not my fault you decided to take issue with a claim I never made. Look, leap, etc.

jules d

that's the trouble with speed reading.

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